The Truth About Small Business Grants

Thinking about getting a government grant as a way to help finance your small business? You aren’t alone. If you watch any T.V. (especially late night T.V.) or do much reading on the Internet sooner or later you will stumble on a tantalizing possibility for the small business owner: government grants. The holy grail of business financing (of any financing, really) a chunk of money that you never have to pay back. What could be better?

I mean really, think about it.  Small business grants and school grants that you never have to pay back!  Federal Grant Money is a great thing…

DO NOT PAY, DO NOT PASS GO

Let me start by saying: DO NOT PAY ANYONE FOR GOVERNMENT GRANT INFORMATION – NEVER, EVER, NEVER, EVER, NEVER! (If you need more reinforcement, copy the NEVER, EVER part and paste it again and again in your favorite text program until it fills the screen. If you still think it might be a good idea to pay for some “inside secrets” then ring your call button and Tommy will come hit you on the head with a tack hammer — 10 bonus points for the movie title.)

ALL government grant information is free to the public. You cannot get anymore information from the private sector. The “secret” is to fully and completely comply with all of the requirements for the grant application. It is harder than it sounds. Anyone selling you a package or subscription or whatever is doing nothing more than repackaging the free information I will show you how to get in this article. There, I just saved you enough money to pay for your subscription to JDsBlog.

Not Easy Money

There isn’t a saying that I know about, so allow me to coin one myself that you may feel free to repeat to infinity. “If there is an infomercial about it, it is probably a scam. ”

The best lies are those with a hint of truth. This allows the true part to be verified. Then through slight of hand and with the help of those precious people born every minute (That one is already a saying. Look under Barnum Bailey.) the true part lends its veracity to the rest of the scam and “Bam!” you’ve got yourself a great scam. (This is also how politicians and political radio and T.V. hosts also operate.)

So, let’s break it down. Yes, Virginia, there is a government. You should be painfully aware of this fact as we head toward April, and doubly so if you are a self-employed. (12.7%? !*#!$^@!) It is also true that this same government does in fact disburse grant money. Further, it is true that some of that grant money goes to businesses. It is again true that some of that money goes to small businesses. Ok. We are done here in the Total-Truth Cafe. Let’s head on over to the Half-Truth Inn.

At Half-Truth Inn, their slogan is “The Government Gives Away Billions of Dollars Each Year”. Of course, here in the Half-Truth Inn only part of any statement is true. In this case, it is true that the government gives away Billions of dollars each year. Too, bad that most of that goes to college students. Ever hear of Pell Grants? Those are government grants; over $15 Billion worth. What about business grants? Again, Billions is right. Exxon, Archer Daniels Midland, ConEd, GM, Tennessee Nuclear Power Authority, ever hear of any of them? They got Billions. How about small businesses? Sure. A good friend of mine owns a small business. He applies for millions of dollars worth of grants each year. He has even received some government grant money for his small business. His secret? Well, he and his partners hold about six or so PhDs among them and they are in Biology and Biochemistry and they still have some ties to the university, and they do research into the right things; sound like your business? Ever see an announcement about $300 million dollars to fight diabetes? Some of that will be research grants.

The Real Story

Across the street is the Hard-Facts Tavern. Let’s get a table. For an appetizer we’ll order off the Small Business Association web site. The Small Business Association (SBA) is a government agency dedicated to helping small businesses and small business owners succeed. Just what the budding entrepreneur needs, a little help from a big friend. Open their homepage http://www.sba.gov/ (the link will open in a new window).

Click where it says: small business grants. Not on there? Maybe they call it something else. Try “Billions in Free Money”. No? How about just “Free Money”? Hmmm…let me check with the manager.

Ah-hah! Here we go (it was on the back of the menu) :

Q-2. How do I get a small business grant?
The U.S. Small Business Administration does not offer grants to start or expand small businesses, although it does offer a wide variety of loan programs. While SBA does offer some grant programs, these are generally designed to expand and enhance organizations that provide small business management, technical, or financial assistance. These grants generally support non-profit organizations, intermediary lending institutions, and state and local governments. For more information, visit our Grants section

Hmmmm. They must be kidding because there are tons of links off of the Grants Page. (Feel free to wander off and explore later, but I’m going to bring it home here in the next paragraph, so stay put for now.)

Time for the main course. Let’s find the government grant we want to order.

Start with the “Business” listings from grants.gov. Not too many there. Maybe if we were a little more specific…

“The Atomic Molecular and Optical Physics program encompasses four sub-areas of this broad discipline: Precision Measurements, Atomic and Molecular Dynamics, Atomic and Molecular Structure, and Optical Physics. Research supported in the first three sub-areas includes activities in quantum control, cooling and trapping of atoms and ions, low-temperature collision dynamics, the collective behavior of atoms in weakly interacting gases (Bose-Einstein Condensates and dilute Fermi degenerate systems), precision measurements of fundamental constants, and the effects of electron correlation on structure and dynamics. In Optical Physics, support is provided in areas such as nonlinear response of isolated atoms to intense, ultra-short electromagnetic fields, the atom-cavity interaction at high fields, and quantum properties of the electromagnetic field.”

Whoa! Too specific, and also, WHAT?!?

Wait, here it is: Small Business Innovation Research (SBIR) grants.

Now that ought to do it.

“The Small Business Innovation Research (SBIR) program is a highly competitive three-phase award system which provides qualified small business concerns with opportunities to propose innovative ideas that meet the specific research and research and development needs of the Federal Government.”(That is their emphasis, not mine)

Curious about the “specific needs”?

• Cryogenics for Kilopixel Sensor Arrays

• Contactless Conductivity Detector for Temperature Gradient Focusing

• High Spectral Purity, Millimeter-Wavelength (W-band) Oscillator

• Time Synchronization of Wireless Sensor Networks

• Multiple Contact Nano-Probes for GHz to THz Electrical and Optical Characterization

• Barrier Fabrics for Fire Safe Furniture and Mattresses

Eesh! Maybe we don’t want to eat here.

Go For It

Ok, now it seems like I’m bagging on government grants. Sorry, I’m not. It’s great if you can get in on it, but it isn’t the easy river of money some people make it sound like. I should know. I’m a freelance writer and some of my work is writing grant proposals. Generally these gigs start off with gleeful clients because the have FINALLY found a government grant they can apply for. They tend to get grumpier as we go along and I keep coming back and asking for the things the application requires. “But, we don’t have a three-year audited business history…”

The truth is if you are willing to do your research on a regular basis (not just this one time, but monthly or quarterly) you might come across a grant that would fit your business well enough to apply for. But, with dozens of government agencies running dozens of grant programs isn’t easy, and that is just to FIND the grant. Then you have to apply. Here is the 62 page Guide for the Preparation and Submission of NSF (National Science Foundation) Applications via Grants.gov. And, that is just for NSF grants. There are dozens of these things and these are the GENERAL guides, not the actual requirements for specific grants.

As my friend who gets the grant money says, “Anybody can apply for these things so they make it a pain in the a@@ so that they won’t get too many applications.” This is a true statement. The grant process is kept streamlined by quick rejection of most applications via computer. Not registered as a small business in the proper database? Application Rejected by computer before anyone looks at it. Improper attachments? Rejected. And so on. This is why you can make money in grant writing. No one pays you to write the grant, they pay so that you write the grant while complying with all of the tiny details that make it so difficult.

So, you want to try out the government grant route for yourself? Good for you. Adversity should be no barrier to achievement. (I made that one up too! I think I’ll make a poster…) Just make sure you are doing your real work first. This is your spare time project, Skippy, because the odds here are a lot lower than getting out there to do some networking and finding some new clients. Here is where to start off:

Between these 2 sites you’ll find most available government grants:

THE Site: www.zyn.com (Private company tracks and posts government grants)

THE Government Site: www.grants.gov (Official U.S. government grant site; not all agencies use this site)

Other More Specific Sites:

Catalog of Federal Domestic Assistance — Business Programs

afterschool.gov — for running an after school program for children

Stay Away from Google! This is one of those areas where the scammers work triple-overtime to make sure their legitimate-looking-but-completely-garbage websites show up on the top of the results. Take a look and prepare to be bombarded with offers to sell you “Secrets” or “Inside Tips” or whatever. DO NOT PAY FOR ANYTHING!!!! If you do (sucker) expect it to not be anything special.

The truth can be a little bit of a bummer, but despite the fact that the government loves small business (well, supposedly anyway, wait until my next post about the taxes…grumble!) you can’t expect a free handout from the Feds just because you have a small business. Not, at least, until you dish out some bigger campaign contributions (too cynical?)

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Tagged as: government grants, grants, SBA